1. Communication – She calls you often, wants to know what you’re doing, and shares her day’s activities. When you ask about her plans for the evening, or the weekend, or even the whole summer, she doesn’t hedge or put you off. She is open and forthcoming.
2. Exclusivity – When she only wants to see you, and does not give you the “space” talk, as in, “I need my space,” and is not craning her neck to watch other men walk by, you have her attention. She makes it known to you and to everyone else that she does not want to date other people.
3. No Conflicting Messages – She makes you her one and only love interest and does not send you conflicting messages. She does not say things like, “I’m in love with you, you are my soul mate, I can’t live without you…AND…I saw my ex yesterday and I think I still have feelings for him.” This kind of message will drive you crazy. You will feel like the rubber ball attached to the paddle by a slim rubber string, batted back and forth. The real message that is being sent is: come here… and go away. You can’t win. But if she loves you, her words and thoughts are straight forward and you do not feel batted around.
4. Family and Friends – She makes plans to introduce you to her family and friends. When you meet them, you realize they already know a lot about you because she has obviously talked about you. Most of them (except the few jealous ones) are warm and friendly and genuinely excited for her that she has found happiness.
5. The Future – When she talks about her plans for the future, she automatically includes you in them. She has places she wants to take you and sights she wants to show you. She follows through on her suggestions. She might also mention marriage and children, if only in an abstract way, to evaluate your reaction.
6. Affirming – She speaks often of how proud she is of you. She does this privately and publicly. She thinks the work you do is the most important thing in the world and loves for you to tell her about what you accomplished during the day. She is happy to help you with your work in any way she can.
7. Gifts – She has noticed what you like, admire, and read, and brings you gifts that reflect what she has observed. The quality of her gift shows the level of her perception about what you like. If she is rich, she may buy you expensive presents. If she is not, she may send cards, books, or poems. If she is not rich and she sends a Porsche or a pricey suit, she’s got some problems. Have the grownup conversation with her about how you don’t like gifts she can’t afford. That would be a very loving thing to do.
8. Touchy – Your girl may be the touchy type, which is not the hyper-thin-skinned poor sport, but the warm, snuggly sort. She may show her love and affection by holding your hand when you’re together, giving big long hugs, frequent kisses, and putting her arm through yours. Her favorite date may be a movie at home so she can cuddle up with you.
9. Helpful – Another overt sign of love is how helpful she is. When she does the garbage detail, helps in the yard, helps you prepare a speech, or cooks your favorite meal, she wants to be in your life!
To move these feelings along, and to better understand where she is, ask her what she wants her future to look like. If she has you in it, and a time-line for certain events that bind you together, the ball is in your court. What do you want?