When it comes to figuring out the opposite sex sometimes it pays to go straight to the source. We got real men to answer the eternal question, "What the eff is he thinking?!" on matters of dating, relationships, sex and everything in between.
1. "Just because I haven’t texted you back immediately does not mean I no longer like you-or want to break up with you. Sometimes we just have other things going on at the time, or we don’t want to seem too overeager." – Alex.
2. "It’s really attractive when a girl takes initiative in bed; a guy won’t think any less of you. It doesn’t always need to be a tit for tat thing with giving and receiving. The norm of so many of my relationships has been doing 80 percent of the work and taking 80 percent of the initiative in the bedroom. I can’t explain how refreshing it is when it feels like it’s 50-50. -Greg.
3. "Regardless of what you’ve heard, realize that guys can indeed be ‘just friends’ with other girls. Some women can get really jealous for no reason. Some think there’s no such thing as a platonic relationship with another girl-either one or the other of you wants to hook up. It’s important for them to know that those relationships can and do exist with the opposite sex. Don’t drive yourself crazy over them." -KC .
4. "Sometimes we just need time to hang out with the boys. Just because you aren’t invited out to the bar doesn’t mean you have anything to be upset or jealous about. I usually find that time away from my girlfriend makes me appreciate the time we have together all that much more." -Chris.
5. "Please take a compliment. It’s frustrating when you give a girl a compliment and she disagrees. We weren’t asking for your approval on our opinion, just telling you how great you look. Smile. Say thank you." – L.
6. "Don’t feel obligated to play down your strengths if you’re good at something, like work or a special talent. We all like to see excellence and, even more so, be around it. If you’re great at something and can speak about it with confidence, it makes other people want to be around you and can be a big turn on." – S.
7. "It’s a turnoff for me when a girl pretends to like something just because I like it. Who are you and what are your interests? If we disagree about stuff, let’s have fun disagreeing about it and if any of it winds up being too important, then, well, it won’t work out and that’s fine. But I feel like there’s a fine line between swapping interests with each other and coming off as clingy and without passions of your own, which eventually eats a hole through a relationship." – P.
8. "It’s great when a girl shows affection to when it’s the two of you, or shows she cares in a different way, like doing something nice, completely unsolicited. An independent woman is really attractive." – M.
9. "Don’t be shy about suggesting dates that interest you. Guys are just as tired of going out to dinner over and over again as women are. A woman who suggests awesome date activities is one a guy can really appreciate, and it’s nice to have something else to talk about other than yourselves and the food." – M.
10. Don’t be afraid to throw him a compliment. "When it comes to sex, mix it up. Whatever your guy does to you, he had to learn it somewhere. It usually means he likes it too, so take a hint from the places he touches you and try them right back on him." -Ben.
11. "If you want to do something nice for a guy, do it, but don’t always expect something in return. Don’t assume your guy will always reciprocate and proceed to get mad when he doesn’t." – L.
12. "Communication about sex is really important. Your guy wants sex to be great for the both of you, and it’s very helpful to talk about things (what works for you, what doesn’t). Having a sense of humor about it can also make it easier and more fruitful. But be gentle with his ego. Make sure to be constructive and instructive." -Dan.
13. "When you complain to a guy about something, know that he’s probably thinking about how to fix that problem. Men don’t complain just to vent-we’re also looking for a solution. If all you want is for us to listen, be sure to tell us beforehand so you don’t get frustrated when we try to solve things." -Ben.
14. "Don’t talk about your exes, why you’re single, or your insecurities unless the guy brings them up." -T.
15. "Throw us a bone. We all know that men oftentimes think they know more about something than they really may. It’s in our chemical makeup. Sometimes you just have to let us set the tent up wrong when camping or take three hours to change your oil-for a lot of us, it’s how we both try to impress you and show you we care. Sometimes you’ve got to let a guy be a guy-even if we’re goofing up." – S.
16. "Not all guys are outright about their interest, but there are certain signs you can definitely look for. If you’ve developed an inside joke, that’s for sure a good thing. How polite is he being? Is he buying drinks? Offering his seat? Walking you home/to the train? Is he staying out way later than he should? Generally trying to make sure you’re enjoying yourself? Is it super easy to convince him to get one more round when he has to wake up for work at seven? He might be miserable the next day…but he probably won’t mind." – O.
17. "Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I love to see a woman dressed up. Plenty of women can get away with wearing anything, but I’ve always appreciated women that play up their differences. It’s sexy." -Andrew.
18. "One hard fact people have to come to terms with is that you and your significant other aren’t the last people you’ll ever both be attracted to. To keep things as great as can be, you need to be innovative and open in your bedroom approach. Let this step the sex game up a few notches or allow for broader possibilities beneath the sheets. Communication and an open mind are a necessity when it comes to sex." – S.
19. "Little gestures go a long way. Sometimes when we reach a red light, my girlfriend will tug on my arm to get me to turn, then get on her toes and pull me in for a kiss. It’s random and natural. No one’s forcing her to do it-it just lets me know that she likes me. It’s a really nice, unprompted way to be reminded that she cares." -Alex .
20. "Please eat food at restaurants! Eating like a bird is really off-putting- especially if we’re dropping a fair amount of money. Going out to eat means going out to eat. Like drinking alone, no one wants to eat alone. It’s a social thing. It’s also hard not to read into that analogy that a girl stingy about food will be stingy about…other things." -John.
21. "Don’t underestimate the power of a compliment. A few kind words that show us you’re into us go a long way. If we’re in the beginning stages of getting to know you, it makes us feel much more at ease-a subtle way of giving us the green light. Look him in the eyes. Smile. Make it nice." – D.
22. "If you’ve been in a relationship with someone over six months and you don’t trust them, get out of that relationship. Simple as that." -Matt .
23. "Say exactly what you mean. Men can’t read your mind. If you know what you want, be upfront rather than expecting us to read between the lines and getting disappointed later. It’s frustrating when women get mad at us about that! " – B.
24. "Be more assertive if you’re interested in a guy. Sometimes reading signals from women feels a bit like reading brail if you’re not blind. There are a lot of ways a girl can show she’s interested without going overboard, like a subtle touch or giving a little extra attention at a party. If a guy knows you’re interested there’s a big chance he’ll become interested too." – F.
25. "Don’t get me wrong-confidence is sexy, and insecurity is certainly a turnoff, but so is a chick that constantly talks about how pretty she is or how much attention she gets from guys. Sometimes overconfidence can work against you." -Dave.