Ladies, have you been wondering why your friends have an easy time dating and maintaining their relationships but somehow you have difficulty maintaining your romances?
Have you been noticing a trend in the way that your relationships end? If you answered yes, it may be time to consider that the problem may be YOU. Admitting that we may be the problem is never easy, but if you’re doing the same things and reaping the same results, it’s time for some self-reflection.
As a Love Coach, I’ve coached many single women on forming and maintaining healthy, successful relationships. Over time I’ve noticed several recurring themes that prevent women from doing just that. I’m going to share these behaviors with you.
1. HAVING SEX TOO SOON: Many women feel pressure to have sex with a man because they feel that this will keep the man’s attention. Having sex with a man who is not emotionally connected with you will keep his attention-but only for the short run.
Solution: Resist the urge to sleep with a man before you’re ready. Also, do not have sex with a man before there is a mutual emotional connection. Think: If you had sex with the guy you’re seeing now and you got pregnant, would he be there for you, or would he run for the hills?
2. NEGATIVE ATTITUDE: If you have the attitude that all men are dogs, all men cheat, all men are pigs, this attitude will definitely repel men. Even if you do not vocalize these thoughts, it will be evident in your actions.
Solution: Be positive. Be present. Smile with every man that you meet.
3. WASTING TIME: Too often women stay in dead-end relationships or put up with being the booty call / friends with benefits girl. Settling to be in a dead-end relationship or the booty call girl will only waste your time and prevent you from meeting the right guy.
Solution: Look at your relationship. Where is it going? Is it what you want? If not, you are missing out on meeting the right guy. Don’t settle.
4. LOW SELF-WORTH: Having low self-worth is never a good thing. It can prevent you from realizing when you are in a bad relationship. Usually when a woman has low self-worth, she will only attract negative men.
Solution: You are beautiful and you deserve to be with a great guy. For the next two months, take note of all the compliments that you receive from family and friends. Make a list of the compliments you receive and write down the name of the person next to each compliment. Each night, read the list of compliments. In no time your confidence will be boosted and you will agree that you are amazing!
5. TOO PICKY: You will not date a man if he does not match your long list of requirements.
Solution: Make a list of three non-negotiables. Take 10 minutes to write down traits that you must have in a man, then prioritize your list and select the top three things that you ABSOLUTELY must have in a man.
6. LOSING YOURSELF: Something that I see very often is that once a woman starts dating a guy that she’s interested in, she forgets her friends and the life she had before meeting him. For example, have you ever had plans with your girlfriends, but immediately dropped your girlfriends because your new guy invited you out on a date? Men (and people in general) are attracted to people who have a well-rounded life full and are more appreciative of you and your time when you fit them into your schedule.
Solution: Don’t make your life revolve around his life. Don’t be afraid to have a life of your own.
7. BEING OVERLY AGGRESSIVE: Typically, men do not respond very well to what they view as pushy women. Generally speaking, men enjoy the chase and want to be the one to pursue you. If you try to push for a relationship or marriage with a man before he is ready, it will only push him away.
Solution: Keep your cool. You’re amazing. Allow the man to court you.