"I Can't Get Over My Ex"

Dear Naij,

 

I need your advice. I met and fell in love with my man three years ago. We just broke up April this year. Since then, I haven't been able to love another man. I don't know what to do. I can't go back to my ex because he cheats on me and takes me for granted, but regardless of all he does to me, I still love him and I haven't been able to stop thinking about him.

 

Please what do I do?

 

- U.A

 

 

Dear U.A,

 

Your feelings are very normal and it is what a lot of people experience after a going through a break-up. It's easier said than done but it really can be done. Even if you'll never forget your ex, why should you remain single and miserably pine for him forever? He may always occupy a place in your heart, but that's okay and it's normal. You can and should acknowledge that but still move on with your life.

Moving on doesn't mean obliterating the memories, it means getting back to a normal day to day routine, enjoying things again, socialising with friends, making new friends, finding enjoyable activities to occupy your spare time and regularly meeting single people who could be potential partners. Recognize that it's going to take time and it's going to take effort. Knowing you're doing all the right things should bring you some comfort, for as long as you're taking active steps, you're going in the right direction. The more effort you put in now, the more you'll reap the benefits later.

Someday you will meet a man that treats you the way you should be treated and love you the way you should be loved. When that happens, all the pain of getting over your ex will be worth it and you will be able to move on with no regrets.

Good luck.

'Ask Naij'  is a column dedicated to answering all your relationship, sex, health and life questions that you are unable to talk to close friends/family about. If you have any questions or stories you have to share, send an email to info@naij.com and we will sort it out as for you as soon as we can.

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