There is a limit on how close a couple can be to each other if they are not also close to God. Not only individually close to God, but close as a couple as well.
In our Marriage Counseling practice most of the couples who come to us want a deeper spiritual life together. How does a couple get closer to God?
The first thing to do is plan/prepare. Sit down as a couple to talk about the things that have made you feel close to God in the past or that you think would make you close to God in the present. Make two lists. It would be common for each spouse to have different ideas. Since this article is about getting closer to God as a couple, look at the two lists to see if there is anything you could do together.
Set yourselves up for success. See if there is an item that both of you have on your lists (for instance prayer). Talk about how you both like to pray, when to pray, and where to pray. The goal is to come into agreement on how you would like to go about praying as a couple. There is an old saying that couples that pray together stay together.
Getting started is the easy part. The more difficult part is to be consistent with your new goal. Let’s look at some things that would help. You can start with setting a specific time each day. If setting a time each day is too rigid a couple might try setting a sequence, i.e. breakfast, dress, make bed, prayer. Also a couple might arrange accountability with another couple who would like to also improve their spiritual life together.
Once you have started your new goals and practiced them for a period of time, perhaps 30 days, it will become second nature to you and it will require much less effort to sustain.
The strongest thing that you can then do as a couple is to turn outward to help other people. Volunteer at church, help out at a shelter or soup kitchen, or visit a sick friend. If your schedule is too busy to help others, then you are too busy. Purposely helping others will be a life changing experience.
Taking turns reading aloud from a book that helps you get closer to God is very effective. When you read aloud you both experience the words at the same time and can have very meaningful discussions on the content.
Nothing is more important and effective than reading your spiritual text of preference together. My wife and I read the same Chapter at the same time. We highlight the verses that are the most meaningful to us and then discuss together.
Couples that are close to God heal the fastest even when they are in crisis. We also see that those couples who have not been close to God and close to each other before they came, but make the decision to change have great success in healing their hurts and regaining a true “closeness” as well. Work on building spiritual intimacy in your relationship starting TODAY. Don’t let your marriage or family become another statistic when you can actually do something to change it.