Let’s say you’ve met a great girl, and you want to spend more time with her. But what if she’s seeing someone else, or is in a serious relationship? Can you still ask her out? Sure you can! Just make sure you keep the following recommendations in mind.
1. Try to find out how serious she is about the person she’s dating. Are they dating casually? Or are they in an exclusive relationship? The easiest way to find out is to be direct: "Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Are you single?" If she says she doesn’t have a boyfriend, or that she is single, just ask her out normally. Just because she’s gone on a few dates with someone doesn’t mean she can’t go on a date with someone else.
2. If she’s in a relationship, one thing you can do is be bold and ask her if she’s happy. Or, ask her if she’s in love. If you sense any hesitation, ask her out, making sure to let her know you won’t overstep any boundaries. Try these two approaches
"I haven’t known you for that long, but you seem really cool, and you haven’t convinced me that you’re happy with your guy. Why don’t we go out and talk? I won’t make any moves. I respect that you’re in a relationship. I just want to get to know you better, and figure out why an awesome girl like you would stay with someone who doesn’t make her completely happy. Want to get lunch sometime?"
"Look, maybe I’m being arrogant here and you can tell me to mind my own business if you wish, but you don’t seem to be all that sure about how you feel about this guy. A girl like you should be with someone whom she’s passionate about. Why don’t we go out and talk? I won’t make any moves. I respect that you’re in a relationship. Do you want to meet up for drinks later?
3. Another approach is to give her your contact information, telling her it’s just in case she becomes single. Cut to the chase: "Here’s my number. If things don’t work out between you and that guy, call me and I’ll take you out to dinner." If she’s loyal to her relationship, or simply not interested, she’ll throw your contact information away. But if she’s interested, and her relationship is on the rocks, she might get in touch after they break. Just think of it this way: you’ve done no harm by trying.
4.Take great care to steer clear of the friend zone. Just because she’s in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t make your romantic intentions clear, or else you might become the brotherly shoulder she cries on whenever there’s trouble in paradise. Continue to remind her that you want to date her, you don’t just want to be her friend (that is, you don’t want to wait in the wings). And if she seems to be stringing you along, for example, she says she wants you around, but she stays with her boyfriend nonetheless, move on. Unless you’re content being someone’s backup, don’t put yourself in line for being hurt; realize that even if they do break up at some point, she might decide "I don’t want to ruin our friendship" or she just might want to be single for a while.
5. Avoid becoming a side dish. If she seems to really like you, demand that she break off the relationship before you do anything with her. If she cheats on him with you, not only is that pretty low on your part, but that brings her entire trustworthiness into question. And if she seems willing to cheat on her boyfriend, you might want to reconsider whether you want to be in a relationship with someone who’s ready to violate someone’s trust. Next time it could be you at the receiving end of her unfaithfulness.