You've been dating this woman for a while now, but you're not sure whether she's "The One."
You know she's attentive and affectionate, but what other qualities should your bride-to-be possess?
Although the two of you get along well, there are things you would like to change about her. Maybe it's the annoying way she chews her food, or the fact that she has a potty mouth. But are these things enough to rule her out?
For worse or better
Before leaping into a proposal, make an assessment about your emotional, sexual and financial compatibility.
Here are some important questions you need to ask yourself:
Is your girl emotionally volatile?
Does she get upset every time you glance at another woman, even if it's just a brief exchange with the store clerk?
Are you sexually compatible?
Is she "in the mood" as often as you are? Does she like to try new things under the sheets? Remember that lovemaking allows couples to engage in the highest form of intimacy. If you're not compatible in bed, it will have repercussions elsewhere in the relationship.
Do you fight about money?
Establish whether you have similar monetary goals. Is she the type who will spend hundreds of naira on a dress she's only going to wear once (and does that drive you crazy?), or are you both frugal? Differences about managing finances contribute to a high percentage of divorce, so it's important to figure this one out beforehand.
Some of these points may seem trivial right now, but they will matter a few years after marriage
Make sure she's Miss Right.
On with the wedding
I decided to venture out and interview a group of men. Some were on the brink of marriage, and others were a long way from it. They had some very interesting opinions to share -- to say the least.
Fred - 22
Fred bases his criteria on 2 Cs and 2 Ps: communication, commitment, persistence, and passion. He wants his future wife, preferably by the exotic name of Cassandra, to have strong convictions.
She must have a passion for their marriage and constantly keep the flame burning, in and out of the bedroom. And being able to talk about each other's good and bad characteristics is a must. In other words, communication is key.
Anthony - 27
Anthony, who is already "whipped" (so to speak), chose his wife for one main reason: she's HOT. He doesn't see the need for all the other emotional aspects of marriage if one is not physically attracted to their partner.
He says, "You should want to have sex with your woman every day when you come home from work. If you don't, then you have a problem." Hmm, I wonder what would happen if she gained 30 pounds?
Paul - 27
This bachelor believes in hooking up with a free-spirited woman who is ready to go out on a limb and take risks. Love does not come easy, but no one said it couldn't be fun.
Paul wants a funny, attractive, well-read, and successful woman. He doesn't like the idea of having to support his wife. He strongly believes that marriage should be a joint responsibility, in all aspects.
Neil - 23
This spontaneous dude is all about karma. He strongly believes that there are two people in the world who are meant to be with each other. He says that "people shouldn't really work at being a couple, it should just happen."
Agree with him or not, he goes on to say that he likes women that are attractive. Money is secondary for him. "Money shouldn't matter if you love her."
Dan - 38
"Having already been married once, I want a woman that communicates and can work out problems." Since the married life is not all about good times, he wants a wife that matches his character.
Like any other project in life, he believes that a marriage should be worked through and constantly perfected. "The flipside," says Carl, "is that if you don't keep at it, you'll end up in divorce court." That's it, that's all.
Richard - 24
Richard is the type to put himself and his career above all else, which means that he will not think twice about relocating professionally. "If she really loves me, she will follow."
It might seem a tad selfish of him, but that's the way he is and he's not going to bend over backwards for anyone. "Take it or leave it," exclaims Richard, who considers himself a gem and expects nothing less from his future wife.
Can you relate?
Maybe you were able to relate with some of these men, or maybe not. Whatever the case, it surely helped you consider your personal standards when selecting a wife. So happy hunting and never settle for a "bargain."