Lately, it seems wherever you turn there is a study on infidelity or adultery. You may have noticed that more and more studies show women catching up to men in their promiscuous pursuits.
For example, CNN recently ran an article called Moms Gone Wild detailing the accepted unfaithfulness among married women in the 40 and up range.
Whatever the cause, there is one undeniable fact: more women are having (or at least admitting to having) affairs than ever before.
To be fair, men are still the more unfaithful of the two sexes, but the gap is closing. The best estimates are that 20 percent of men are unfaithful compared to 15 percent of women. However, a recent study found that once women decide to cheat; they have more partners while doing so, 2.8 sexual partners compared to 1.8 for men to be exact. This study also notes that women statistically cheat earlier in the marriage, “While unfaithful men don’t have their first affair until almost six years of married life the average female cheater strays just five years after exchanging wedding vows.” So, why are more women being unfaithful?
I’ve heard a couple theories…
Women are better liars and better cheaters
I’d like to say this is false, but it is actually somewhat true. Studies show that, overall, women are better liars than men – whether being a better liar makes you a better cheat is up for debate but I’m sure it doesn’t hurt – because they are “more psychologically sophisticated” than men. In other words, women are wired differently than men.
As a result, women are less likely to get caught cheating since they are more sophisticated in their reasoning, justification, and even how they carry out doing so. While ninety-five percent of women have cheated and not been caught; only 83 percent of men can say the same.
Women are simply acting more like men
There is a popular misconception that women are simply acting more like men. I disagree. In my opinion, women are acting more like successful people. It was likely more difficult to cheat back in the day when women were historically expected to remain in the home and depend on their husband’s income. As the saying goes, “with great power comes great responsibility.” History has proven, often through the misguided pursuits of men I might add, power causes some to abuse their power. Powerful men have acted ignorantly for generations, especially when it comes to women, irrespective of their marital status.
As women have improved their social and personal statuses, like the men before them, some of these women believe they are entitled to fulfill certain desires. Sometimes these desires entail enjoying the company of men who are not necessarily their husbands. In reality, women haven’t changed much, but society has changed a lot. These changes in society have allowed more and more women to have more and more opportunities to cheat at the workplace and beyond, and they now have the means to do so if you consider the fact that each generation of women is more educated and wealthier than the previous. Stated another way, women have more worldly temptations to resist than ever before. These same temptations are something men have clearly struggled with for generations.
This isn’t meant to excuse the actions of unfaithful women (or men). But, it does seem more complex than brushing it off as women acting like men – a statement that doesn’t make much sense in the first place unless there is a clear definition for how a woman and man should act, which I assume is written by the same people who define how black and white people should act. Of course, that is another topic for another day.
Why do you think more women are being unfaithful? Is this a reflection of a change in women as individuals or a larger change in society’s evolving view on relationships and monogamy as a whole?