My best friend comforted me after my ex dumped me and we stupidly had sex. Now I am back with my ex but sleeping with both of them.
My long-term boyfriend is my rock. We have always been totally in sync, best friends and lovers. He is 23, I’m 21.
Things started to go sour and I realise now I was neglecting him. I was studying hard and had other priorities like looking for a job.
I knew things were difficult but I thought it was just a rough patch, then right out of the blue he broke up with me.
I was distraught and turned to an old friend for comfort. It went too far one night when he cuddled me and his hands wandered. We ended up in bed.
I have to admit it was lovely and this became a regular routine. He would come to keep me company and we would end up having sex. I needed to feel loved.
I never dreamed he would fall for me. I got back with my boyfriend as I still love him, but it doesn’t feel the same. He said we would start again and move in together but I am so scared.
I am scared about the future, scared to be myself and scared of hurting him again with my selfish ways.
I keep wondering if my best friend is really the one who accepts me for who I am. He doesn’t know I am back with my boyfriend. I am such a coward I have said nothing.
My boyfriend says I don’t treat him like I used to and I don’t give him the sex he needs. It now feels like a chore rather than something I look forward to.
I worry I will ruin the lives of them both if I don’t sort myself out.