We are 34 and 37 and we already have five-year-old twin boys we both adore, but this new arrival has put a lot of strain on our relationship.
When my wife discovered she was pregnant she admitted having an affair. She said it was because she felt low and that we were drifting apart.
I was very shocked as I had no idea about the other man. I asked her to consider an abortion if she was convinced the baby was his. She turned that idea down flat.
The affair was with the man who came to put up a new shed. I was at work and she invited him in for coffee because it was cold and raining. They got on like a house on fire. He had just split from his long-term partner and was feeling lonely. She felt the same and listened to him and allowed him to have a cuddle.
Next thing they were in our bed – something I have tried to get out of my mind, though the affair carried on for a few months.
She is not seeing him any more and I have forgiven her the affair, but when she gave birth to her little girl I knew she could not be mine. The man was from the Caribbean while my wife and I are both white. It’s obvious to anyone. My family can’t look me in the eye.
I was numb after the birth and I still have no feelings for the baby, but my wife has said she is not prepared to give her up. It’s like my feelings have been tossed aside as I have had no say in her decisions not to have an abortion or keep the baby.
Can I really be expected to love another man’s child?