Today’s emotion leads to tomorrow’s progress in our love lives. It all depends on how you are able to control yourself over any heartbreak.
Stop wondering what you have done wrong, or blaming yourself over and over again. What has happen has happened.
Remember that it was never meant to be, in the first place. Move on with your life, by letting off your past, because our bad past experience hinders tomorrow’s relationship progress.
It’s hard, it’s not easy to overcome, due to the feelings in many of us that are deep-rooted. Then, someone comes along and tells you to believe in yourself, or suggests it’s possible to simply wipe away memories of your past.
Things we still feel guilty for today, to a great extent, are the things you have done in the past, things that are responsible for how you see yourselves, as “low-value” today. Some people don’t like themselves because of what they were given from day one: their looks, their intelligence, their body shape.
But for many people, it comes from having felt like they let themselves down in the past. Maybe they didn’t approach someone they liked, and now, they feel like a coward. Maybe they made an awful decision that has shaped their entire life in a negative way forever.
Here are ways to overcome guilt in your relationship
• Focusing on someone worse than us is a crappy way to feel. The only guaranteed way to have a “positive present-view” of yourself is to build it from scratch. Because a positive self-view is created the same way trust in a relationship is created – by being built on, one small step at a time.
Do something today that’s slightly more than the YOU of yesterday. Or do you feel you’ve been shitty person, try to do something small today that’s the opposite of what a shitty person would do. Do something nice for someone, a small act of generosity.
• Show a moment of understanding: Prove to yourself that you are better than yesterday. You’ve been a wimp your whole life! Someone who cowers away from risk, or rejection! The antithesis of the hero? Fine.
Talk to someone today and tell them they look beautiful. Stick up for someone who’s being verbally bullied in a group. Set an example for someone you know looks up to you. Prove to yourself that you are stronger than yesterday.
• You’ve been lazy until now? Avoiding responsibility? Down-playing your dreams and ambitions to take the comfortable route? Fine. Go set up a call with someone who can help a vision you’ve had for a long time. Run for 10 minutes, clean your apartment, and prove to yourself that you are more determined than yesterday.
• Will you erase all of your negative memories in a day? No! But instead of papering over past experiences with mindless pump-up mantras, you’ll have shown yourself something better: progress. A brief moment where you showed that even if only for 10 minutes, you were the person you wanted to be.
In the interests of full disclosure, even doing that one thing will probably not be easy. But do it, you must. In that brief moment that you do something different to the old you, you’ll like yourself. And we all know what happens when we meet someone we like. We want to spend more time with them.
• When you do get to spend a moment with a version of you that you really like, you’re going to want to be around that part of you more. So, you’ll find ways to be that person again tomorrow.
It becomes a beautiful cycle that starts a new relationship with yourself. Not created – like a false friendship with a person we met the night before and told we loved in a drunken stupor – but built, one day at a time.
The criminal who just got out of jail can’t wipe away all of his crimes. But he has the ability to be better than before, one day at a time.
You can too! But please before you start, let yourself out of jail. It’s stopping you from starting, and you’re the only person who’s been keeping yourself there.