The holidays aren’t the best time to discover that you’re dating a horndog. And yet, the writing is on the wall, in another woman’s lipstick shade: Your guy is playing off on you.
Here are some other not-so-subtle clues that you aren’t his one-and-only:
Broad Hint #1: He never takes you back to his place. What’s he hiding? Maybe, oh let’s say…his wife? A few kids? Worse yet: he lives with his mother.
Broad Hint #2: The waiter notices that you’re not the girl he came in with-last night. She was a redhead. And the night before that, he was with someone taller. He doesn’t need a tip, but you do: Get a new boyfriend.
Broad Hint #3: Your dates always end early. Despite what he says, he really doesn’t need to get up early. He’s just moving onto the second shift booty call.
Broad Hint #4: He doesn’t introduce you to family or friends. That’s because they know he’s living with someone else.
Broad Hint #5: He’s always text-messaging someone else when he’s with you. Can you spell “wife”?
Broad Hint #6: He always making last-minute plans with you. That’s because he’s waiting until his significant other falls asleep, so that he can step out on her.
Broad Hint #7: He never stays the night. He’s got a bed to go home to: hers.
Broad Hint #8: His Facebook account is filled with love letters from other women. There’s a reason they’re writing on his wall: they’ve discovered first hand that he’s got the write stuff, both online and off.
Broad Hint #9: He refers to people, places and recent things he’s done-without you. Who’s he taking instead of you? If you don’t dare to ask, you don’t deserve to go.
Broad Hint #10: He’s not interested in meeting your gal pals or family. Why should he be? He’s not planning on sticking around long enough that it matters.
Broad Hint #11: The receptionist at his office keeps calling you by another name. She doesn’t recognize your name or your voice-because he’s got too many women calling him, to keep up with everyone.
Broad Hint #12: He talks about his gal pals-but he won’t introduce you to them. He doesn’t want you comparing notes with them. You may find out that you’re one in a million (as in “crowd,” as opposed to “unique”).
Broad Hint #13: He won’t let you use his computer. Or cellphone. Or ANYTHING. Until he hits “Delete.” What’s he hiding-other than his communiques with the other women in his life? Since you can’t compete, it’s your turn to hit DELETE.
Broad Hint #14: He keeps keeps you on a short lease-but doesn’t let you know his own where/when/with whom. How did Melanie Griffith put it in Working Girl? Oh yeah: “I am not steak. You can’t just order me up.” Make that your new mantra.
Broad Hint #15: He doesn’t know the name of your best friend. Or the color of your eyes. Or who many siblings you have. Worse yet, he doesn’t care to find out. Seriously, if he doesn’t care enough to know the little things, he’ll never be there for the big ones. You need much more than this man ho will ever give you. So, what are you waiting for? Go out and find the man you deserve.