Many things run through a woman’s mind when you meet.
Here’s how to go from “hello” to “oh my.”
Her brain quickly vets your height and facial symmetry the moment you meet. Now convince her of your character. Approach confidently; don’t pretend to bump into her. Men tend to talk to each other at angles to avoid confrontation. But women face each other head-on and maintain eye contact.
A good handshake isn’t a shortcut to her bed, but a bad one can doom you. Hands are loaded with tactile nerves, and people with weak, clammy handshakes were perceived as shy and neurotic in a recent study. So hold your drink in your left hand and give her a firm but not bone-crushing grasp. Pay attention to her grip as well: The same study showed that women who give firmer handshakes tend to be more adventurous.
The most attractive women prefer deep-voiced men. It suggests high testosterone levels, a sign of strength and reproductive prowess. Push out air with your diaphragm, not your throat. This lengthens the column of air moving past your vocal cords.
Say something that will draw out details about her. “Your friends seem nice—how did you get to know them?” is a compliment and a window into her past. Forming a bond will release dopamine, a mood booster in her brain. Show off your interest with verbal nods of agreement (“uh-huh,” “go on”).
We all know to ask lots of questions and to avoid flat-out boasting. But don’t sell yourself short. Women listen very carefully for signs of status and wealth. Keep any references to financial or personal success oblique, though—let her curiosity draw out the details. Another crucial conversation tip: Talk at the same pace she does and she’ll consider you intelligent, kind, confident, and ambitious.
Your Body Language
Attraction causes couples to mirror each other’s body language. But don’t be overeager to connect. Stay relaxed and let her set the tone. Fidgeting conveys nervousness and triggers the empathetic release of stress chemicals in her brain. Once she brushes your shoulder or thigh, reciprocate within a minute or two. Or touch her inner forearm, a nerve-rich zone that will create sparks.
Your Deal Closer
If you’ve made the right sort of first impression, she might be wondering how you are in bed. Consciously or not, she’s looking for signs that you’re patient and sensitive to the ways her body finds pleasure. Show refined tastes and sensitivity the rest of the time and she’ll suspect you have others worth exploring—back at her place.