Breakups are not easy to handle. While you might feel an inclination to shut yourself out from the outer world, it's really important that you don't stay alone for the rest of your life. There are people who care about you. Or, on the other hand, you may feel better after a conversation with a complete stranger whom you mihgt never see again. Which people are best for curing your broken heart?
1. The Ex Who Still Loves You For No Discernible Reason. Okay, so you don't necessarily need this ex around. It’s probably more convenient that anyone who thinks highly of you loses their invite to your pity party, lest they're compelled to explain — using charts, diagrams, and roleplay — why you're alone again. But once you crawl from denial to depression, you'll appreciate the ex who still loves you for no discernible reason. Even if you never, ever want to see them again. They're evidence that someone, somewhere has the capacity to love you romantically, that you're capable of being on decent terms with an ex, and that you're not cosmically screwed for life. Once you've moved on, their affections might as well be coming from a lampshade (you did break up for a reason), but that's neither here nor there. Let their misguided adoration comfort you in your time of need.
2. A Bartender. You shouldn't drink yourself to death while mourning the lost relationship, but bartenders have a lot to offer by way of therapeutic support for someone in your situation. For one thing, they've already seen hundreds of patrons through similar dilemmas and so have a unique perspective on philosophical questions like, "What went wrong"? If that fails, bartenders can get you liquored up and point you in the direction of a single, hot regular or even take you home themselves, as they're typically attractive (and good listeners!)
3. A Stranger. Strangers are useful for two things when you're in the shadow of a recent breakup — taking your mind off of your ex and providing an unbiased analysis of your situation. Your interaction will likely begin with the former: meeting someone new provides at least an hour of processing completely foreign information and stringing it together to form an impression. As for the latter, strangers will candidly tell you what they think because they have no stake in protecting you or your ex. The people you know are too afraid to tell you that you're a tad overbearing — but a stranger has no such fear. Their diagnosis will sound relevant and profound to you, even if all they're doing is stating the obvious.
4. The Person Who Hates Your Ex. This person can be a family member, a friend, someone in your ex's network, or... a paid actor. The only requirement is that they despise your ex to a degree that almost makes you feel sorry for the poor bastard. Almost.
5. Your Friends. There is no better cure-all than time spent with friends. Dance. Laugh. Even if you accidentally boarded the ship to 'OMG I'm In A Relationship Now And Don't Require Friendship Anymore BYE!' Island, don't be afraid to let people be there for you in your time of need. At least one of your friends will be happy that you've crossed back over from the dark side, and if not? An apology and some good will can go a long way. Redirect the energy you''d spend grieving your ex to nourishing your dilapidated friendships.