His girlfriend was unreliable, so he went out to find a stable relationship.
According to a signed - though undated - statement newly released by the Smoking Gun, Andrew Mendoza of Danavang, Texas, was waiting for his girlfriend to call one night and told himself that if he didn't hear from her, he would go next door and "mess with the neighbor's horse." She didn't call.
The document details the encounter in graphic detail before stating, "I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby. I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse."
He later pleaded guilty to public lewdness and criminal trespassing, according to the Smoking Gun, and spent four months in jail.