Israeli voters flocked to the polls Tuesday to select the country’s next prime minister, overwhelmingly electing a missile currently being fired at Iran.
“The missile represents our views and where our heads are right now,” said Uri Ben Haim, who voted for the long-range ballistic missile that is indiscriminately targeting anywhere in Iran.
“I really feel like it stands for what’s important to me.” Outgoing Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has repeatedly accused the missile of being “soft on Iran.”
However, Yosef Rabin, a professor of political science at Tel Aviv University, said the missile’s massive electoral win gives it a clear mandate.
“There’s a lot of support for the new prime minister, so he’ll have latitude to do whatever he sees fit, whether that’s buttress a flailing Israeli economy, broker a long-overdue peace with the Palestinians or, and this is the most likely scenario, explode somewhere in Iran, sending shrapnel and debris in every direction,” said Rabin.
“What matters is that voters feel like it’s the kind of missile they could sit down and have a beer with.” The next step for the prime minister-elect will be forming a coalition government.
According to experts, the leading contenders for foreign affairs minister and defense minister are U.S. cruise missiles and CIA drones, respectively.