After the historic blackout affecting 620 million people in India finally ended today, residents were shocked to learn that adjacent Pakistan took advantage of the outage to usurp India’s geographic location.
According to Power Minister Veerappa Moily, the coup came “quite unexpectedly.” The minister expressed his indignation, saying that “the wholesale looting of the subcontinent is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.”
Moily produced charts and maps, moreover, to substantiate this impossibility of the Pakistani move, noting that Pakistan’s previous location was “far too small indeed” to contain India. Speaking from his home in Karachi (formerly Mumbai), one householder, Sargon Gupta, said he was satisfied with the turn of events.
“The climate is much cooler here.” Mumbai is now located in the heart of the Afghan mountains.The government investigation is focusing on ways to reverse this territorial shift. When asked about reactions to the move, Moily remained circumspect. “There are incidents of criminality in all power outages.
This is an unfortunate fact.” The minister was silent on allegations that the ministry was already planning a second blackout to counteract the first.The Ministry of Education, meanwhile, has urged schools not to order the new maps and globes currently being offered to institutions around the newly transplanted country.