Could you tell if your man faked it? Most women would answer "Of course!" But, turns out, a third of us are wrong. Dr Abraham Morgentaler spent 25 years researching the male orgasm. His conclusion? Not only do a third of men fake it, the over-riding reason they do is the same reason women fake orgasm: to spare our feelings. Men say women take it very personally when a man doesn't orgasm, much more than he does if we don't.
Because we think men's orgasms are automatic and inevitable, he's supposed to have one every single time, or something's really wrong. We're not attractive enough, didn't turn him on enough, he's in love with the new girl in his office... Hence why, in our super-stressed, super-paced world, both women and men resort to play-acting. We're not only too tired to have orgasms. Who's got the energy to go through the hassle of explaining why we didn't?
If he's tired, had a few too many, worried about work or just not interested in sex right now, it seems the least stressful way to explain a lost erection is to fake the conclusion women expect. A quickened pace, a few moans, dramatic thrusts and a hasty retreat and most women, apparently, are none the wiser. How does he explain the lack of 'evidence'? Well, to be honest, most women don't notice the absence of more fluid.
Isn't it time we all stopped having such unreal expectations on ourselves and our partners and accepted neither of us are sexual robots?
If he's using a condom, it's even easier: all he needs to do is dispose of it quickly and how were you to know there was no fluid pooled inside? Ejaculate isn't a true indication that he's orgasmed anyway.
Orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes, and one can occur without the other.
In other words, he can ejaculate without having an orgasm or orgasm without ejaculating (though it takes a great deal of control and practice to achieve).
Most couples make love last thing at night and conk out immediately the sex is over. How many of us are on the alert at 11pm after a hard day? Two thirds of the men Dr Morgentaler studied said they got away with faking it. The real shame here is that either sex feels the need to.
Faking orgasm isn't necessary if admitting to not having one isn't a problem. Isn't it time we all stopped having such unreal expectations on ourselves and our partners and accepted neither of us are sexual robots?