Ask Naij:

Ask Naij: "After Three Years Of Marriage, I Think I Married Mr. Wrong"

I have been married for three years. We are both in our late 20’s and are having the worst problems.

When we first married I lost my father, and my husband was semi there for me. But, there were warning signs of him not being the one. He would drink every weekend so much that he wouldn’t come home the next day and never could tell me where he was. Women showed up at our door saying they slept with him, but I was so grief stricken I believed him and not them.

I felt if we got married things would change between us. NOT! Things got worst. He would party every weekend, not come home, and I would find text messages and phone calls in the early mornings to other women. I left him for about two weeks during our year and half of marriage. He changed a little.

For these past three years of our marriage he has been in and out of jobs. So, I have had the only income. His father passed away unexpectedly. It was like my husband’s life was turned upside down. He was raised by his father from ages 11-18. They were extremely close. Now, my husband has been left with all this money from insurance and acts like he could care less about me or this marriage.

He says he has other things to worry about. I have been finding him texting other women, confirmed he has met up with a few of them. But, I have no confirmation he has slept with any of them. He says it’s due to my mouth, and if I would stop talking so much he would be around more. Yes, I have a mouth sharper than a razor.

My tongue can cut through knives. But, I only lash out because I am hurt. I am hurt from the physical abuse, the cheating, the lying, and the emotional abuse. I know he has a lot of issues. And, I have always been known to want to save the world. I know he can be the man I need him to be. He has potential and I can see it in him. But, he said he will never change. This is who he was when I married him.

I want to help him, I love him. I think I just don’t want to give up on the marriage since I am so young. And, maybe if he seeks counseling maybe he can change for the better. What do I do?

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