I've had a deeply loving affair with a married man. He’s now back to his home, trying to save his marriage but I’m addicted to him and I can’t move on.
I’m 28 and my lover is 35. We met last year. At first we mainly just chatted but the atmosphere became electric between us.
One day he offered me a lift home as I usually walk, he had his car and it was raining.
He made a detour, stopped the car and we were immediately kissing like teenagers. He came in when we got to my house and the sex was loving and passionate.
Against all our morals, we fell in love.
His marriage was hollow and he left his wife and kids and moved in with me. His kids are six and eight and he adores them. It was hard for all concerned but he saw the children at weekends and everything seemed to be going well for us.
But I knew something was wrong during Christmas. He was so stressed I thought he was having a breakdown.
And just before Christmas he told me that he was going back to his wife because he missed his children so much he couldn’t carry on living without them.
I was devastated but I felt so guilty about what I’d done, I didn’t stand in his way. I want him and his children to be happy.
His wife let him come back home but the love has gone and she made it clear it was separate beds. In fact the shoe is on the other foot now because he caught her with another man.
We still see each other as friends. He won’t let me go but he is fighting for his wife and crying on my shoulder. It’s making me sick. I’ve started drinking heavily to block it all out. I know it’s karma after I behaved so badly.
I just can’t move on when we are constantly in touch. It’s like I’m addicted to him.