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Ask Naij: "How Do I Get My Wife To Have Sex With Me Because I'm Tired Of Sleeping Around"

My wife stopped having sex with me 12 years ago so I’ve had a string of lovers since, but she’s the one I really want.

I am 46, my wife is 43. Our two grown-up children still live with us. I was angry when she announced 10 years ago that she was moving into the spare bedroom.

I had a few one-night stands over the next two or three years, then met the woman who became my lover through work. She was a regular customer and I soon realised she was flirting with me. I took a deep breath and suggested she might like a private viewing of my sales goods. To my surprise she said it would be lovely.

The next weekend I spent at hers. It was amazing. I hadn’t had sex like that in years. In fact, it would be true to say I had never had sex like that. She was very imaginative.

I was on top of the world when I got home. I told my wife I was away working but if she did guess what I had been up to, she said nothing.

But last year my lover dropped the bombshell that she was back with her ex. Having rediscovered sex I felt I could not do without it and I began a series of one-night stands, but it’s really not what I want.

I still care for my wife but she distances herself from me. She does my washing and ironing and cooks for me, but there’s no closeness. Obviously our children are aware of the atmosphere between us because we have very limited communication.

I am not interested in a close relationship with anyone else and I am pretty sure she has no one else. I just need to find a way of getting close to my wife again.

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