Getting over a broken heart is never easy, especially in the social networking age, when photos of you and your ex in happier times remain plastered on your friends’ Facebook pages.
Worse, recent research suggests that romantic rejection can cause physical pain in a way that no other negative emotion can. Here’s some advice on how you can come through a loss stronger:
1. Feel the Pain: You may be tempted to try and forge past it by numbing the pain. Or you may harden your heart and swear off all future relationships. But that’s the cowardly approach, and one that won’t serve you well in the long run. It takes a lot of courage to be sad but with grieving comes increased awareness: of what’s truly important to you; whom you love; who loves you. Of course, no one wants to feel that way but if you allow the sadness to teach you, it actually will resolve faster than any effort to fight it.
2. Deal appropriately with negative thoughts. Meditation is a great way to quiet the mind and help deal with the tendency to beat yourself up for things going wrong. Another approach when negative thoughts are running endlessly through your mind is to get up and do something else. Take a walk or call someone who’s having difficulty and try to think of them instead of yourself.
3. Turn up the radio. Science suggests that music has a therapeutic effect. (No, not that breakup album with the sad, lovesick songs.) Blare some of your favourite, feel-good tunes: Listening to them can trigger the release of endorphins, lifting your spirits and combating stress.
4. Feel some kindness toward your ex. The most potent step you can take in your own healing is to extend kindness to your ex. Although that seems counterintuitive and next to impossible, the process of forgiveness can actually bring feelings of stability and peace to your inner mind and speed up your healing process. You don’t need to forgive or forget your ex’s past transgressions or stay in touch. (In fact, it’s a good idea to de-friend them on Facebook to keep from obsessing about their every move.)
5. Have Faith: The most common fear that heartbroken people have is that they’ll never find anyone else. Shake those negative feelings. You found love and happiness before, you’ll find them again.