When it's OK to lie in a relationship

When it's OK to lie in a relationship

When it's OK to lie in a relationship

Couples lie to each other an average of three times a

week, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, according to a recent study soon

to be published in the journal Communication

Quarterly.

affection toward their partners even when they weren’t genuinely feeling

it—otherwise known as deceptive affection. This could be anything from

complimenting your guy’s haircut when you actually think it’s heinous to

kissing him goodbye even when you’re really pissed.

Researchers looked at how often people expressed

per couple) between the ages of 18-27 kept a week-long diary.

For the study, 57 participants (one person

deceptive affection. Every time this occurred with their romantic partner they

were asked to write down what they were actually feeling, what they expressed

to their partner, and why,” says lead study author Sean Horan, assistant

professor in the College of Communication at DePaul University.

“First we trained them on what is

faking their feelings an average of three times per week, according to Horan

and study co-author Melanie Booth-Butterfield of West Virginia University.

The research showed that participants were

Surprisingly, it’s not so horrible for your bond. “Although it’s very common,

the motives behind it aren’t bad,” says Horan. “The most dominant motives were

to avoid conflict, negative feelings, and hurting your partner.”

So how bad is all this lying?

help maintain the relationships. And according to researchers, these little

white lies are pretty harmless. “We don’t always want to know the truth all the

time,” says Horan.

For the most part, deception was used to

covering up something major—like that you’re over the relationship or that

you’ve been cheating—you’re probably doing more harm than good.

That said, if your motives include

relying on deception then problems will likely result,” says Horan.

“In any relationship, if you’re primarily

Honesty

may not be the best policy when it comes to relationships.

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