Oluwagbeminiyi Abiola Shogunle’s passion for good parenting and the need to create a viable support base for 21st century mothers gave birth to the Adorable Mum group.
In a recent chat with Daily Sun, Oluwagbeminiyi, popularly known as Gee Bee, shed more light on activities of the group and the need for parents to protect their children against every form of abuse.
What gave birth to Adorable Mum Group?
I’ve always been passionate about good parenting and as my kids were growing and the challenges of parenting were increasing, I realised the importance of a good support system and saw the need to create one. The name, Adorable, was inspired by the fact that one element, I really wanted in the relationship with my kids was mutual respect. I am actually working on a short video clip, titled ‘How it all started’. It will be out soon.
Before Adorable Mum, I was studying for a post-graduate degree and working as a peer trainer, both on part-time. I was also involved in a lot of community work and projects. The Adorable Mum forum provides an avenue for mothers to learn from one another, teach one another, and realise that they are not alone in the tasking world of the modern mother.
Aside from Adorable Mum being an online community of mothers, which support mothers in their journeys, what else can mothers gain from this group?
There is a lot that mothers can gain from Adorable Mum. Adorable mum has grown to be more than an online community. We have various activities, projects and events offline. The events are called the ADM Meet ‘n’ Groove and are organised from time to time. They are usually for mums to come together, meet one another, relax, and have fun.
Mothers can gain from these events in various ways as these events are targeted at getting mothers to relax and unwind, get enlightened or educated about various subjects and issues. In less than two years, we’ve had over 40 events in various locations across the world.
We also have other activities/projects where we reach out to people in different communities. At the moment, our focus groups are orphans and abandoned children but we do have a few projects targeted at different groups of mothers and that will kick off soon. Also, a mother can gain some work experience if she chooses to work with our volunteer team.
Have you had any nasty comment or criticism thrown at you? How did you deal with it?
Yes; a few but one of my life’s philosophies is never take anything personal. I always believe nothing others do or say is about me, instead it’s often a reflection of who they are or the realities in their lives. So, such comments and criticism often don’t get to me personally, instead they serve an evaluation purpose for me.
How would you compare the way mothers brought up their kids while growing up to what obtains today?
Motherhood and parenting has always been and still is one of the toughest yet most important jobs in the world. I think each generation is faced with its own challenges and one thing that is probably different now, is that mothers of today feel they have less time to themselves and often feel greater pressure to juggle work and family life than the previous generations. The increasing pressure on the modern mother to work this double shift effectively i.e. being the perfect mother as well as a salary earner makes support networks for mothers more important now than ever.
Do you think mothers are to be blamed if their children turn out badly?
Not at all times. There are many other factors that influence and contribute to a child’s life. However, mothers and fathers alike have a major role to play in the lives of their children and they ought to always make the most of it. This is one of the key messages Adorable Mum hopes to deliver to parents. We encourage every mother, every parent to train, support and raise each of their children with extra dedication and passion; maximising their parenting opportunities and abilities to ensure that more than likely, their children turn out well.
The first six years of a child’s lives are the formative years of the child, and during this time, parents often have the greatest influence on the child, so they must maximize it. And during the next 12 years before the child turns 18, parents should know that it is their responsibility to continue to give love, constant instruction, guidance and adequate training to their children.
In your view, what makes a good mother?
Any woman, who takes up the challenge of motherhood whose every decision, word, and thought is based on love is a good mother. One who knows that children are our future and takes her time to mould, nurture and build them into healthy and strong adults. Someone who knows that it is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men and takes every care to maintain her children’s self esteem.
A good mother is one who is also passionate about her children and takes her rightful place in their lives. She is one who does all she can to ensure that her children get the best in life; she goes the extra mile possible to improve her children’s life. She knows that her assignment is fostering great skills in her child and does it to the best of her abilities.
She is one who identifies greatness in her child and fosters it.
In what ways can mothers prevent their children from being abused?
There are several types of child abuse, but the core element that ties them together is the emotional effect on the child. Mothers need to be aware of the different ways a child can be abused, the risks involved, the tell tale signs and possible measures that can be taken to avoid them.
A mother needs to understand the various types of child abuse, develop the necessary skills and identify the different resources she will need to understand and meet her children’s emotional, physical, and developmental needs and that way, she will be better equipped to protect them from harm in every possible way.
Parents must remember that they are the most important person in their child’s world and they must do all they can to protect their children at all times.