I met him through a mutual friend and our relationship became serious rather quickly. I quickly found that he was everything I wanted in a man and I couldn’t wait to be his wife.
Little did I know that marriage to me, or any woman for that matter, was the last thing on his mind.
One night during one of my many visits to his (Mark) place the doorbell rang. It was one of his best friends who had dropped by to see us. He came by to inform us that he had accepted a recent job offer and would be moving out of the state. I was disappointed because I really enjoyed having Mark’s friend around and I knew how crushed my man would be once this friend actually left. I greatly underestimated how much these two men really meant to one another. I went into the kitchen to prepare some food since I assumed we would all be celebrating this new step in his friend’s life. I didn’t realize it had gotten quiet outside the kitchen due to the commotion created by all of the pots and pans I was working with. I popped my head out to make sure Mark and his friend were still in the living room. They weren’t.
Both of them loved to shoot pool so I figured they went to the game room. As I headed towards the game room I heard something in the bathroom instead. I couldn’t quite make out what it was so I made my way to the bathroom to investigate. As I got closer to the door, I could hear voices. The door was shut, but I was certain both voices belonged to Mark and his friend. I chalked it up to “guy talk” and turned back to the kitchen. Big mistake.
As I made my way back to the kitchen I heard a loud bang from the bathroom. Panicking, thinking someone was hurt, I rushed back to the bathroom since I had no idea what the loud noise was. The door was still shut so I started banging on it. I asked if everyone was okay. No answer. I banged on the door and shouted both Mark and his friend’s names. There was still no answer. My imagination got the best of me as I ran through different scenarios that may have been going on inside the bathroom. While on the verge of a complete and total breakdown, the whispers I previously heard returned.
Apparently, Mark and his friend thought I retreated back to the kitchen. The whispers became louder and pretty soon I heard sounds that are usually found in the bedroom, not between two friends who are supposed to just be having a little “guy talk” as I had initially thought. I proceeded to bang on the door again, this time in anger. Mark timidly came to the door as I shouted all kinds of obscenities. He tried to explain himself, but I was too furious to listen. I could not believe my man just had sex with another man while I was STILL at his house! Not only was it extremely bold and disrespectful, but the man was GAY. He didn’t bother trying to tell me that he had these feeling before, and sadly I had to find out, possibly the last to know, due to Mark and his “friend’s” reckless behavior.
Clearly, I must have missed signs that indicated this man was on the down low. I racked my brain trying to determine if there were any obvious behaviors Mark demonstrated that I failed to see. I couldn’t come up with any. After all, he enjoyed sports, he seemed masculine enough and he loved women. Or so it seemed.
Several months later, after I calmed down from the shock of being in a one-sided monogamous relationship with a gay man, Mark and I had a serious discussion. It turned out that he had been gay all of his life and he wasn’t even remotely bisexual. His friend had been his part-time lover during the entire length of our relationship and what I caught them in the act of was a goodbye love-making session.
If only he had been honest with me before I fell for him....