Men always ask us why women won't sleep with nice guys. We will. It's just that jerks have been able to perfect the first-impression package that catches our attention.
Just follow these steps to get her attention, without being a bad guy.
Without this, you might as well forget the next eight steps, 'cause you ain't getting laid. You should definitely always exude confidence and belief in yourself. Don't slouch; do nod and smile when she's talking; and put your beer on the bar between sips, rather than clutching it like a life preserver. Because if you don't believe in yourself as a sex machine, she never will.
But Don't Be Arrogant
If you lay it on too thick and make yourself the focus (or, worse, the hero) of every story you tell, you know what we'll think? That you're insecure and desperate, and have something to prove. We can spot a Napoleon complex within 60 seconds.
Don't Whine, Complain, or Bitch
About anything—it's seriously unsexy. If you can't get a bartender's attention, for example, don't sigh loudly and complain about the service—laugh it off and ask her to give it a shot instead. And your problem at work? Don't care! We're drinking, here!
Stop Being So Considerate
Nice guys hate to offend, so they add "just kidding" after every sarcastic comment. It's the equivalent of smiley emoticons. You don't have to be so gushing and eager to please. Poke fun at her often, in such a way that she would know it's not meant to be offensive.
But make it about something besides her appearance. She's heard a thousand guys tell her she has great skin, so it no longer even registers as a compliment—she just assumes you're trying to get in her pants. But if you are genuinely listening to her and you manage to observe something about her inner person, it will get you far, because it's rare.
After you've developed a rapport, find a lighthearted excuse for a little skin-to-skin contact—like a gentle shoulder punch when she makes you laugh or an elbow touch as you click on some shared delight. But don't grope or gaze deeply into her eyes while putting your hand on her knee—she'll think you read some stupid book on how to hook up (written by a man)
Recruit a Wingwoman
Wingwomen are for closing the deal. When a woman sees a guy with cool female friends, she assumes a) he's a laugh to be around; b) he genuinely likes women, rather than just their body parts; c) he's not desperate; and d) he'll probably still respect her in the morning. Moreover, wingwomen—especially cute ones—create an air of friendly competition.
Buy Her a Drink
But let her buy the next round. It blurs the lines between pickup artist and pickupee. Let her do a little of the work so she'll relax into being seduced. If you don't, it'll make her more judgmental. If you insist that she not pay for anything, she'll see you as an old-fashioned control freak who thinks that women who put out on the first date aren't "girlfriend material."
Make Her Laugh
If she's cracking up, she's too busy having a good time to wonder about your motives. Sharing a laugh makes her feel you two are "connecting." In fact, it's a far better indicator that she'll go home with you than sharing a kiss. But please, you have to be witty and irreverent.