Ask Naij:

Ask Naij: "I Caught My Boyfriend With His Ex, On Our Bed"

My partner sits opposite me declaring how much he loves me and all the while he’s sending dirty texts to his ex.

He even lent her the car I bought him.

I’m 45 and met him 18 months ago on a dating site. I’d been single for seven years and he made me feel beautiful and worth so much. My daughters, 21 and 22, hated him though. They said he was a creep but I was madly in love. They’ve cut all ties with me over him.

I sold my home and bought somewhere smaller and a car for us each. He never had any money and said he was owed a year’s salary in back pay, which he’d give me when it came through. It never did, though, and I ended up with huge debts.

I knew he went on the webcam for random sex, which he paid for with my money, but then I discovered that he’s still seeing his ex. He’s been giving her money to live a life of luxury when he knows I am struggling with debt – because of him. When he told me the car I’d bought him was in the mechanic, she was actually driving it around.

I caught him out sneaking off for sex with her when we haven’t made love for a year. I confronted her and she told me they’d had sex in my bed when I was out. He said it was lies but she knew exactly what design my duvet is, what make-up I use and what was in the fridge.

I pretended to go away for a night and sneaked back late in the evening. Sure enough I caught them together in my bed. He’s destroyed my confidence. He’s pleading with me now to give him another chance and to trust him, but am I just wasting my time?

 

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