I am a 31-Year-Old man and dating a 22-Year-Old Girl. We have been dating for over a year now. We are in love with each other but one thing that puzzles me about her is that she told me she was a virgin. She said she has never been in a relationship, neither has she had sex with any man.
My greatest dismay came the day we had sex. She did not bleed. I asked her about it. She explained to me that when she was in Junior Secondary 3, she contacted toilet infection from her school hostel. During school vacation, her mother took her to the hospital for treatment and she was given an injection. She was also given an insertion drug and tube to use to insert it in her vagina. She said the first day her mother inserted the tube, in her, she bled.
My question is, can such a thing make a woman lose her virginity?
- Mr. Curious.
Dear Mr. Curious,
Not every woman bleed the first time they have sexual intercourse. That said, there are many young women who do bleed the first time they have sex. This is perfectly normal. It is not abnormal to not bleed the first time you have sex either though. A common misconception is that you must not be a virgin if you don't bleed during first time sex. This could not be any further from the truth.
Now to answer your question, the bleeding usually occurs when the hymen (a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening) breaks.There are many other causes of a hymen breaking aside from sex. Girls who are involved in sports which involve a lot of stretching or splits, such as gymnastics, may find that their hymen breaks before they have sex. Masturbation can also cause the hymen to break before first time sex. So yes, it is quite possible that her hymen might have broken during the insertion of the drugs,
Just because she did not bleed, doesn't mean she wasn't a virgin.
'Ask Naij' is a column dedicated to answering all your relationship, sex, health and life questions that you are unable to talk to close friends/family about. If you have any questions or stories you have to share, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we will sort it out as for you as soon as we can.