Editor’s note: Onyokoko Nyore Samuel, the NAIJ.com partner blogger, explains 10 golden rules that will help combat depression and self-killing.
Samuel is a security consultant, an entrepreneur, a blogger, a poet and a freelance writer. He writes articles on security matters. He can be contacted via email: firstname.lastname@example.org. His mobile numbers are: 08164744220, 08022635575.
More details in NAIJ.com’s step-by-step guide for guest bloggers.
People are struggling every day to make ends meet. People are dying in poverty, debt, and dejection. Depression is eating deeper into the psyche and mindsets of the common person on the streets.
Suicide is growing at a geometrical rate. When the economy was crawling, people could still cope; now the economy is not crawling anymore, it is stagnant.
Why are people depressed? Why are people losing jobs, closing down businesses and committing suicide? What difficult times we live in. What end to this hopelessness? In Nigeria, hardly can you hear of people committing suicide.
It was alien to us. However, the reverse is the case: problems and challenges are forcing people to terminate their lives.
Now, what are the tripartite relationship between depression, suicide, and security? What does your security have to do with depression and suicide? Definitely, there are relationships and I will explain how and why.
What is security? According to Dr Ona Ekhomu, in his book, Effective Personal and Corporate Security, he defined security “as the absence of danger and or loss.” That means when we feel secure inside, we are free from the danger of depression, which culminates to suicide.
Depression according to the Oxford dictionary is “a medical condition in which a person feels very sad and anxious and often has physical symptoms such as being unable to sleep, etc.”
The same Oxford dictionary defines suicide as “the act of killing yourself deliberately.”
I am not talking about the physical part of protecting yourself with personal bodyguards or escorts; I am talking about protecting your mind from the vicissitudes of live. It is about staying strong while things fall apart around you.
When you secure and protect your mind, you will let go of your problems and challenges. Depression is a disease of the mind. You must protect your mind from danger and loss of hope. People are killing themselves because they have nowhere to turn to. They have nobody to talk to or lean on in their days of pains and loneliness.
These are the reasons why people commit kill themselves:
· They are confused and there is nobody to console them
· They are unhappy and down emotionally
· They are looking for companionship and comradeship
· They are emotionally inept to control their problems
· They are overwhelmed with too many challenges beyond their control
· They lack emotional intelligence
Again, how do they come out of these challenges looking stronger and brighter? These are the tips I will be sharing below. I call these the how of avoiding suicide.
1. Go into deep meditation
Meditation is one of the surest ways to come out of a suicide thought and live a happier life. You do not have to be a Buddha member to meditate. Christians and Muslims can use their religion to meditate as well. It is about focus. It is about concentration and calm.
There are days I am depressed and what I do is go to a quiet environment and clear my mind from what has been bothering me. I take a deep breath and count from fifty to zero. By the time I am done with it, my mind is relax and calm.
Therefore, it is good you do some meditation even if it for five or ten minutes. It will steer you from suicidal thoughts. It will purge your mind of deeper problems and make you whole inside.
2. Don’t listen or watch depressing news
At times, we are the cause of our problems. Instead of us listening to inspiring stories or discussions, we would rather listen to bad news or watch sad movies on our TV screens. This can trigger depression and bring our problems to the fore.
According to the media, bad news is good business. The media knows this that is why they bombard their audience with depressing and explicit contents for them to digest.
Stay clear of bad news no matter the medium it is passed. If you are passing through bad times, that is the time to move away from these depressing news and listen or watch inspiring stories and movies instead. You should allow someone to be around to share these inspiring stories and movies with them.
3. Jot down your problems and challenges
When you write down what is bothering you, you can be able to strategize ways and means to deal with it. It is like writing down your goals. For instance, when you are in debt, writing it down can force you to come up with workable solutions that can mitigate these challenges. Writing down your challenges forces you to think.
However, when you do not write it down, you can pinpoint what exactly is bothering you; your problems might be deep-seated. Until you write it down, you cannot see it at a glance. Starting from today, write down what you believe is bothering you.
Draw a circle and construct a pie chart. Map out areas you think are insurmountable and those that are mundane. Give each area a percentage. For example, if your health is what is bothering you the most, you can assign 50 percent to it, debt 30 percent, and rent 20 percent.
Suicidal thoughts happen to every one of us. Only those who can come up with strategic ways to deal with it that can overcome it.
4. See a counselor or a psychologist for medical advice.
It is good we see a psychologist when we feel overwhelmed. They are in a better position to offer useful advice that can help you get out of your suicidal thoughts. Depression is a mental sickness and only trained professionals can pull out.
Some people are shy from asking for help because people might see them as misfits in the society. The earlier you seek help, the better it is to avoid suicidal thoughts.
5. Engage yourself in exercise routines
Doing exercises is among the best ways of forcing suicidal thoughts from your mind. It gives you this good feelings, makes you happy and confidence. Engaging in different forms of exercises makes you fit and healthy. It makes you happy for no just cause. You are free from depressing thoughts. Psychologists recommend exercises to their patients because of the value they place on it.
Start today to do simple exercises and you can graduate to strenuous ones. You will thank me you did. One thing that stops people from doing exercises is because of procrastination or laziness. However, if you are serious enough of coming out of your suicidal thoughts, you must push yourself off your seat and start one today.
6. Force yourself out of your lonely state
Some people just love staying alone. They do not want to communicate with family and friends. They prefer to keep their problems to themselves. Unfortunately, this mindset can trigger suicidal thoughts from your mind. You wallow in your problems and suck all day. You cry during your lonely hours. You feel ashamed and dejected.
The best way to beat depression and suicidal thoughts is to get in touch with family members, friends, and colleagues in the office.
You might have lost your job and lost touch with old colleagues. Nevertheless, you can still find ways of contacting them and share your problems with them. Families are the best because they will carry you along and give you advice only family members can give.
Get out of that lonely zone and mingle with the singles (if you are single) or engaged yourself with the married ones (married friends who are couples can offer consolatory words) to at least forget your problems for once.
7. Keep yourself busy
A lonely mind is the devils workshop is a cliché that has been used over and over again. When you are idle, negative thoughts always fill your mind. On the other hand, when you are busy, you can think of any other thing but your job or your schedules.
Do something today no matter how mundane and tell me if you will be thinking of anything negative or suicidal thoughts.
8. Think of something new to do everyday
When you keep the mind engaged by thinking of newer things to do, you are removing yourself from negative thinking. You are forcing the mind to go creative instead of drifting into the opposite. Creativity is the window to opportunities. When you have many opportunities around you, you are happy, and you are satisfied.
Creative minds are wealthy minds. Creative minds do not think of depressing and suicidal thoughts. They believe they will succeed no matter the things holding them back. They believe in themselves and know that every good thing has its time.
9. Help others succeed
Helping others succeed is the best ways to forget your problems. When you help others through advice or monetarily, you are making yourself bold and confidence. You realize your problems have fallen behind and those of others are at the driving seat.
The joy you get when you put smile on the faces of people will help you see the brighter side of life. It will permeate into your psyche and you see yourself feeling happy too. Go out today and help someone in need. Support the less privileged in the society and you will be glad you did.
10. Just smile
Remember that song that goes thus, don’t worry, be happy . . .? that is what you should be doing. For you going through a tough challenge right now, just smile. As you are reading this article right now, just put a smile on your face. Have you done that? Good. I know you did.
Base on the slow but ascending rate of suicide attempts in the country, I decided it is best I write something to encourage people going through rough and tough times. I am relieved as I pen down this article. I hope it does the same to you too. Don’t forget to like this article on my blog. CHEERS!
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the editorial policy of NAIJ.com.
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