Finding new love can be like a confusing chess game. And it may be that, that single lady remains single, because she is not sending out the right signals. Blessing Ukemena writes.
You get into a bar and you are having fun with the girls only to turn to the bar and see this cute guy giving you the eye. You are dying for the guy at the end of the bar to talk to you? Some men share the surprising reasons they rather stay away.
Sometimes, it seems like no amount of silent prayer or aggressive cleavage will get that cute stranger to take a hint and chat you up. Could you be scaring away men before they even approach you? what female behaviour makes them scared to go in for the kill:
You look pissed A lot of ladies are guilty of this, but hey, a perma-scowl: Swap the pouty lips for a genuine, friendly smile and your admirer for the night will be more likely to approach you. The majority of men agreed that an unfriendly facial expression will keep them from approaching you, so flash those pearly whites at the guy you’ve been eyeing!
You’re not locking eyes Even though men get rejected more often than women, but they rather void it. Face it what’s harder than approaching a stranger? Approaching a stranger who hasn’t acknowledged your existence with even a brief look. “I need to see, by her looking and smiling at me, that she wants me to approach her. If I don’t see it, I don’t approach,” says Ezekiel Ogbe. So next time you think he catches you looking at him, don’t look away – hold your stare for a few seconds so he knows you’re looking, flash a smile at him before you turn away to show that you like what you see.
You’re too flirtatious To say the truth, this also turns off some ladies, not just the guys. When a lady is going out of her way to show that she is available, it simply tells everyone that she is cheap, and no serious guy will come close. A chip on your shoulder is a turnoff to any guy waiting to make his approach – but so is the other extreme.
A not-so-courageous guy is put off when a woman crosses the line from friendly to flirty…with everyone they see. “If she’s flirting with lots of guys. Nothing like a woman who is basically telling everyone in the place that she’s open for business with anyone,” he says. “Flirting with everyone” would put him off, agrees Daniel Iheneme.Adding to this, another guy says: “Grinding out on the dance floor; yeah, it’s fun to look at but I like to look at strippers too…but I wouldn’t take any home to meet my mom.” Sure, he’ll notice you if you’re the loudest, most aggressive girl in the room, but not in a good way.
You’re surrounded by friends Single ladies like to go out with their friends so that they don’t feel lonely at the club. But admit it, your awesome group of friends can be a little intimidating, especially when a strange guy approaches to hit on just one of you. Being surrounded by more than one friend makes a lady less approachable because of the embarrassment of being rejected in front of more people.
Make sure you’re giving him the opportunity to approach you alone, check out the jukebox and linger for a bit, or offer to grab the next round of drinks for your friends. Or better still, plan some of your outings for just you, once in awhile. That way, the guy can summon up the nerve to come and say “hi!”.