I have been keeping a secret in my life for so long now (married for just over one, in relationship for almost eight years), and I am emailing you to ask for some help.
You see, I am married to an abusive wife. When I say abusive, its mainly emotionally, but also the biggest problem, physically. The reason I email you now is that we had a huge fight on Monday night, which resulted in the following:
I was half asleep in our bedroom after a verbal argument, to which she walked in, started abusing me again, and then proceeded to attack me, kicking and punching me on the floor, in the genitals, in the head and to my back;
Punches to the head were so bad I have lumps under my hair, and cant really brush it, a large bruise on my forehead, which I have had to blame on a swinging door as an excuse to my workmates, and a kick to the neck/upper back when I was on the floor, which has resulted in some serious back and neck pain for which I have to see a Chiropractor about this afternoon;
For reasons that I cannot explain, and my wife refuses to answer, she then kicked me out of the house on Monday night with basically the clothes on my back, and some work clothes for yesterday (minus socks, undies and work shirt). At this stage I was pretty upset about the whole thing, and told her I wanted out of the marriage, after which she then took all my keys, gave me back my car keys, and kicked me out of the house. As a result of sleeping in the car my back and neck got worse than what it was after the kick to it, hence why I am in so much pain.
I really don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to talk to people about it, but they just laugh it off saying I am a wimp and should be man of the house, that the arguments are my fault and I should learn how to speak to my wife, basically it’s a mans world and therefore its my fault this is happening. I don’t agree with that, I know within myself that I am trying to change what is going on. I have a good job and don’t work too many hours.
I had to beg to come home last night because of my back, and then got into trouble this morning before work as I didn’t really say anything when I came home. I could hardly walk! I laid in bed from 5:30pm in pain until 6am this morning when my back was so bad again I had to get up and leave, and I really don’t know what to do.
So that you are aware, my wife is going through treatment for depression at the moment, which I think will be found to be Bi Polar and can drink up to 2 bottles of baileys in one night, which is apparently to help her sleep. Without a job and sitting at home all day, I wouldn’t be able to sleep either, yet discussions about getting a job etc always come back to why she can’t do the work etc. There is a hell of a lot of stress that comes my way because of this also, my wages go to paying bills, rent etc, and then we have very little money left, especially not for up to 10 bottles of baileys per week!
I was always brought up to not hit women and I refuse to do it. When I got kicked in the balls and then my next on Monday night I retaliated slightly and kicked my wife in the shin. this was then used against me last night when I was saying I had a bad back and umps all over my head, all I got back was, "oh well my shin is sore as well".
Please, if you have any advice, I really don’t want to be divorced after only a year of marriage, but there is only so much I can bear, and I really worried I am almost there.