Cheating is one of the most guilt-ridden actions a person can partake in, and being cheated on is one of the most painful experiences a person can have.
So, why does it happen? Why would someone want to hurt someone like that? When you look at the underlying emotional issues behind cheating, nobody ever meant to hurt somebody else—they were just finding an unhealthy way to avoid their own pain. Here’s what I mean.
They’re looking for an escape from real life
Many people use romance and sex as an escape from real life. When with their boyfriend/fling/hookup buddy, real life things such as work, health issues or finances are not discussed. But, no relationship can go on for long without real life issues coming up. And that’s when many people, that use relationships as an escape, will look for someone new that won’t remind them of real life.
They want to be “new” again
Many people are addicted to being “new” to somebody. They like being mysterious, and having a person crave knowing more about them. But they like to keep a person in that state of craving. And obviously, as relationships progress, you can’t remain mysterious forever, or else you wouldn’t be able to get emotionally close. So, as soon as the mystery goes away for some people, so does the fidelity.
They want someone to be “new” to them again
Some people only want to know the facade of another person. A woman meets a man that is successful, has a great reputation, is on top of his game and she likes that. But, it turns out he himself is normal, with a crazy family, quirky habits and maybe some digestive issues. Some people value themselves based on the people they are with, and once they discover their partner is just ordinary, it takes a toll on their own ego. And they seek someone new and “exciting” to feed their ego again.
Pretty much anybody that cheats struggles with some codependency issues. Think about it: cheating is the worst option, and if a person were comfortable and capable of being alone, they wouldn’t cheat. They would just say, “I’m not happy in this relationship” and spare their partner the pain of being cheated on. But, instead of facing the scary world of being single, they let their partner take the brunt and get cheated on.
Their current partner would fall apart
If left, the current partner would become deeply depressed, would have a mental breakdown, or might even do something to harm themselves or others. That is a very tough spot for the emotionally stable partner to be in. But, everybody wants happiness which is why someone with such an unstable partner, might look for love elsewhere, while still being a rock for their partner.
They aren’t getting enough attention from their partner
One partner becomes extremely busy with work, or perhaps taking care of a sick family member, and his or her relationship has fallen to the backburner. This is when the other partner might cheat because they are not getting that constant affirmation that they are an attractive, desirable, lovable person—all the things we usually get from a relationship.
There is a reason co-workers and classmates often fall in love: they bond over a common understanding of one another’s stresses, struggles, ambitions, dreams, and even schedules (they’re thrown together a lot because of their shared activity). Cheating with a co-worker is a very common type of cheating for this reason. A person may feel that their co-worker understands them much better than their partner does.